Hello, my name is michelle.
currently 17 years old.
studying at nan chiau high school, taking O level.

attending church at FCBC (:

DO NOT JUDGE ME, OR YOU WILL BE JUDGED!
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2006-07-16 / 2006-08-06 / 2006-08-27 / 2006-09-03 / 2006-09-17 / 2006-11-12 / 2006-11-26 / 2006-12-10 / 2006-12-31 / 2007-01-28 / 2007-02-04 / 2007-02-11 / 2007-02-18 / 2007-02-25 / 2007-03-04 / 2007-03-11 / 2007-03-18 / 2007-04-08 / 2007-04-15 / 2007-04-22 / 2007-04-29 / 2007-05-06 / 2007-05-20 / 2007-05-27 / 2007-06-03 / 2007-06-10 / 2007-08-05 / 2007-08-19 / 2007-10-07 / 2008-05-25 / 2008-06-29 /

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Image: fleshlystar

Friday, May 25, 2007

4:06 PM -

this post is not meant to be emo. because i am upset instead. i am sad because of all the events that have happened all this while or rather since the begining of this week. i don't know what else can i do, besides staying by your side, ensuring that you're fine and let nature takes its course. my emotions have been controlled and i got to force myself .. to smile. ( i don't like it)

got back my report book. and, i hold back my tears. what is the point of crying. when at first, i didnt even put in much effort in that particular subject which i shows no interest in. and that subject pull down my class and level position. whatthehell. this is the worst position i have ever got in my secondary school life. but as for my L1R2: 8 points. which means i am near my goal. i wanna get 7 points for my 'N' level. am i able to do it? haha. next hurdle, prelim. and it is starting soon. in late june perhaps. i doesnt have much time left. 'O' level mother tongue is on next monday. all the best people(:

after yesterday incident ( which i would not mention), i find that life is very fragile. just a little of setbacks doesn't mean that life is over, or 'game over'. i mean we could bounce back again if you have the strong will to move on. what a pity i could say. i don't know.

after a few days of thoughts, i think back about somethings that someone once told me. what a foolish thing to hurt yourself. what is the point, what i get in the end. and luckily, this sentence came through my mind and thus i did not hurt myself(: but, i wanna get this off my chest. i wanna drink, not clubbing okay? who wanna ask me out.
yes, you did not hurt yourself, but you have hurt that someone whom care so much for you. (if you ever realised).

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

4:33 PM -

first of all, i would like to apologise to those people whom i show attitude this few days. i am sorry. i don't mean it anyway. i am just irritated. that's why you didn't see me talking and joking much recently.

secondly, got back all my overall results. and i am rather disappointed with it. because it wasn't the results i am longing to get. i regretted, because during the exams period, i did not really put in my 100% effort. argh.. it's over though. no point harping on it. because i can't change the past.

thirdly, should i quit my guitar lesson now? but, if i were to quit, i got to pay a sum of money. i think. because the contract is about 1 year. i don't know. but, i need time to concentrate on my studies. i am still thinking though. and if i were to quit, means that i will not have any fun on thursday night? ahaha. and i will not get to see my 3 wonderful girlfriends?

i know i souldn't have this thought racing through my mind. but, it's taking control over my life. i hold no priority. i can't find any other ways out besides doing this to myself. i am sorry people. for all those who really care for me, thanks! but i need time to be alone. i needa have some peace. hurting and cutting myself seems to be the best solution to vent out my anger and sorrows now. i will own back my life, someday, somehow. iam dying in this hell of mine.

4:25 PM -

I’m forgiven, because you were forsaken.
I’m accepted, you were condemned.
I’m alive and well, you’re spirit is within me.
Because you died and rose again.

I’m forgiven, because you were forsaken.
I’m accepted, you were condemned.
I’m alive and well, you’re spirit is within me.
Because you died and rose again.

Amazing love, how can it be
that you my king would die for me.
Amazing love, I know it’s true.
It’s my joy to honor you.
Amazing love, how can it be
that you My king would die for me.
Amazing love, I know it’s true.
It’s my joy to honor you.
In all i do i honor you.

I’m forgiven, because you were forsaken.
I’m accepted, you were condemned.
I’m alive and well, you’re spirit is within me.
Because you died and rose again

4:22 PM -

HAPPY THIRD MONTH ANNIVERSARY, PTS!
LOVE YA TOO! (: